Tea is a pheromone. I drink lots of tea and my breath and sweat exude it. How else did I attract the Hairy Monkey and the others before? I thought everybody knew this tea factish, but the other week I found out they didn’t.
Tiger was complaining because her shirt smelt of tea after leaving it in her teabag drawer. I told her the tea factish and she left smiling.
Two weeks later Tiger was looking rather tanned and I asked if she had been on holiday (I was being polite, she was rather orange and had obviously been using fake tan of the worst quality). “No it is fake”, she replied. It however, was not fake tan. She had spent two weeks bathing in Tesco Red Label. Tiger looked awful but was no longer single. I suggested she tried a different brand to better match her complexion.
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8 comments:
Indeed my life has changed completely thanks to the monkey. to attract physically apt gentlemen i personally recommend PG Tips for its devilishly daring aroma and taste (gets you every time). For all those shy/mysterious/troubled soul characters something moody and understated like Assam. For all other enquiries and loadsa more cheeky tips don't hesitate to consult the tiger monkey hotline. happy t-ing
I thought smell was banana. You are not big banana? This news greatly upsets hairy monkey! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
i most certainly am not the stenching banana, perhaps the man in the grey suit and a red cap is big banana? could it be that the hair has found monkey love? roslyn your thoughts please.
anoymous is infact Tiger. Yes, I know your style. Hairy Monkey has never smelt you...and if he did you would smell of PG Tips today. Don't you wear a red hat?
jupiter strike me down my cover has been blown. tiger most certainly does not wear a red hat. only in good weather mind. apologies for the confusion monkey man i was not trying to sniff your bananas.
i like tea
also, remember men, when trying to seduce the ladies with your tea infusions Lady Grey is not a good choice of flavour
i would like to meet da d man? what is your flava brother?
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